still alive

I know I haven't posted for a while. There is a big event in my life I have been getting ready for. I have also been building a new home for my face. Please expect more things soon. 

available for children's parties

Magic!

utah travel diary part one-it is always nice to see friendly faces.

There are many people I miss and getting to see the warm smiles of friends and family is always a highlight of coming back home. Pictured here are my brother and his girlfriend, my niece and nephew and the darling Krzymowski girls.

back to the hatching place

I am in the middle of my journey back home. My companion and I have been having adventures, expect photos and drawings soon. If you are unfamiliar with Utah please educate yourself with one of the many documentery films or books written about the subject.

eight year old me would be very proud

Clown #1: Knock Knock

Clown #2: Who's there?

Clown #1: Poo

Clown #2: Poo who?

Clown #1: What's wrong sir, why is your butt crying? 

maybe mother was right

I always wanted a monkey. Not as a pet, but as a brother and a friend. I would have taught him everything I know about pretending to be human. The fact that this never happened makes me sad but it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

I am not gone only distracted

The world has been keeping me busy but I hope to resume regularly posting as soon as the appropriate electronic devices are unpacked and connected. In the meantime, please enjoy some pie.

good times will be had

I am in the process of cleaning my house to facilitate the moving in of a very nice young lady. I have the feeling that there will be more tea parties come February. 

i don't sleep very much, but i am constantly dreaming

I am working on a one man show for this spring, it is about the place where I get my jokes. My friend Becky will be directing. All I need to do now is finish writing it, find a place to perform, enlist the help of an animator and build some giant teddy bears out of cardboard.

they will not cut you, only sing at you

A young lady asked me to draw these for her.

If you would like to see something with insect legs let me know.

secks education

My friend Sara has a unique sense of humor. For the past eight months she has been pretending that she has a baby growing inside of her. She has went so far as to wear an ever increasing layer of padding under her clothes to further the illusion. She is such a practical joker.

Everybody knows that pregnancy is just an old wives tale and an excuse that people use to justify the unnecessary wiggling of body parts inside of other body parts. The real way to make babies is rather simple and rewarding. For those that wish to have a child I have included the recipe, have fun:

12 9.5 oz packets Pop Rocks

7 lbs Sea Monkeys

1 bathtub full of water

1. fill bathtub full of luke warm water

2. place sea monkeys in bathtub, let them frolic for approximately 1/2 hour to soothing music

3. add pop rocks, the resultant chemical reaction will cause the water to boil (do not inhale fumes!)

4. let water boil until completely evaporates

5. there should be a putty like substance on the bottom of the tub, take putty and mold into baby shape, let it dry under the sun.

6. nurture

Time to take a break and enjoy a delicious treat.

You deserve it!

my mother

My friend Clint and I made a movie for her. There were clowns in it, but not the scary kind.

all hail the nightmare beast

Sometimes they picnic in my dreams.

things I do

Here are some things someone else had to say about me. All of it is nice and most of it is true.

chin shaving time is around the corner

The beard is scaring people and the moustache wants to come out and play.

fun is falling out of the sky again

Hopefully my bus will be running in the morning. Seattle might be allergic to snow.

What really happens at their picnics?

Who is to say you should trust them? They could be stuffed with anything. even spiders. 

things would be nicer if they had insect legs on them

I have been thinking about this an awful lot. I am working on something special.

part one of thirty one?

I have been encouraged to blog more. I am going to attempt to do it daily for the month of January. Today the cogs in my brain are moving slowly and I am having some difficulty with the complex thought. The following is all I could milk out of the hungover sponge that is my mind:

I think a lot out of what things would look like if they had insect legs attached to them.

and 

Teddy bears scare the hell out of me.

Hopefully it will get better.